12 Step
This edition of the Missal looks at the 12 Step recovery program and it's spiritual aspect. The 12 Steps had their beginnings in the 1930's when AA was getting started. A group of recovering alcoholics, including Bill W., were attempting to put the principals of their program in writing. They had come through their experiences with alcohol addiction with the knowledge that a spiritual element was paramount in any lasting recovery. They also realized the spiritual element was the governing factor that gave an addict a new chance at life without obsession, and had to be renewed or practiced daily.
12 Step groups exist for many types of addictions or obsessions, including narcotics, over eating, gambling and even shopping. The groups focus on their particular obsession, only. AA only allows alcoholics into its closed meetings, for example. While this may seem unnecessary or trivial, it serves an important purpose. It keeps the member from losing focus on their main problem, through rationalization, distraction and denial. The families and loved ones affected by alcoholics and addicts have also formed groups using the 12 Steps, such as Al-anon and NA-anon. These groups realize that a family state of mind can foster addictive behavior, enabling the addict through the help of those he loves.
Admitting that one cannot control one's addiction or compulsion;
Recognizing a greater power that can give strength;
Examining past errors with the help of a sponsor
(experienced member);
Making amends for these errors;
Learning to live a new life with a new code of behavior;
Helping others that suffer from the same addictions or compulsions.
American Psychological Association
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The basic principals of the 12 Steps are admission of the problem, that a higher Power exists and can help, honesty with self and others, and helping our fellows in similar situations. The founders of AA soon saw that the addiction was three fold, affecting body, mind and spirit. The physical problem was referred to as an allergy, to describe how an addict's body is affected so readily, and must have the drink or drug, or suffer. The mental addiction is manifested by the addicts insistence that repeating the same behavior will have different results along with the inability to stop in spite of resolutions, promises, negative consequences, etc. The spiritual malady exposes the root of the problem, being an extreme self-centeredness, an obsession with self. This illness of the spirit is changed through a surrender or deep humility, followed by a growth of conscience and sense of moral values. The person manifests this in his life through a willingness for self-sacrifice and unselfish constructive action, especially in the direction of helping those with a similar malady as his own.
1. We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol.
2. We got honest with ourselves.
3. We got honest with another person, in confidence.
4. We made amends for harms done others.
5. We worked with other alcoholics without demand for prestige or money.
6. We prayed to God to help us to do these things as best we could.
Early steps of AA, remembered by Bill W.
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The problem of how to become honest is more difficult than one might think for an addict whose intellect has been mainly used to rationalize any form of behavior in the name of his obsession. This ability of the mind to fool itself necessitated that the addict have a clean and sober friend to check his thinking. This friend is another alcoholic with more experience in the 12 Steps, called a sponsor or accountability partner. This use of another trusted partner to hold one accountable is a good trick or tool to keep the mind from buying into its own obsession-fueled imaginings related to the mental problems mentioned above.
The writer Wei Wu Wei once remarked that our problems stem from doing everything for our "selves", and there isn't one. Paul Hedderman calls this kind of thinking "selfing", where the mind's activity is spent, or misspent, upholding its idea of itself. Hedderman points out that since such a thing as self doesn't exist, the mind isn't thinking of a real object, but is creating an illusion as it thinks, "selfing". Obsessive thinking such as this brings misery upon the person involved, and escape from it becomes paramount. A drink, a drug, a compulsive behavior, they all serve as relief, a medicine for the sick mind. The price becomes higher than we can afford sooner or later, and the cure becomes the disease. Until the underlying problem is dealt with the person will turn from one escape to another. The alcoholic gives up drinking to become obsessed with money, the drug addict becomes a fanatical preacher. The 12 Steps offer a way to deal with not only the apparent obsession or medicine/disease, but to get down to the root cause, that of identification with a dysfunctional personality or ego. One could say that the principals of the 12 Steps could be used as a spiritual path for freeing oneself of the this identification, even if the ego was healthy and functioning. But without the fire of misery and pain from addiction and disease providing incentive, few would be willing to make that move.
- Related Sites -
Tricks and Traps
Trick: Getting sober takes a lot of help. We count on others to help us get sober from the high of self, but seem to forget this once we're back on our feet.
Trap: Once sober, we forget. Once we get back on our feet and full of energy, we tend to forget how we slipped in the first place. Sobriety tends to make us cocky and feel we're invincible, thus we make the same old mistakes and fall down harder than before.
Trick: Stay in the fold. When you're on top, stay humble by helping those less fortunate, and keeping the friends who helped you close at heart.
- Four Versions of The Serenity Prayer -
For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it.
- Mother Goose
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Lord, grant me
Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr
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Father…
Guide me that I might see clearly.
Bless me that I might understand.
Strengthen me that I might live my understanding.
- Robert Cergol
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May we have the clarity to see what
is required of us,
the courage to accept it,
and the capacity to discharge it.
- Robert Fripp
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Commentary ___________________
Finding a Teacher
Finding a true spiritual teacher is much like finding a good job. With the advent of the internet the search can be conducted primarily online. With the wealth of information the internet brings, it is now easier to discriminate between spiritual teachers before meeting them, sort out the good and bad, and review their systems. Some only work through email and the phone, making traveling long distances to make initial contact unnecessary. Do your research, ask questions, and the right teacher can be found.
Find your true interest. What branch or style of esotericism appeals to you and your long term goals? Any experience with teachers in the past by you or your friends can help pinpoint your search. Detail what interests you about spritual work. What are your strengths and weaknesses in the realm of science, reason, and intuition?
Do your research. Spend time on the internet and find the pertinent information on your interests. Researching a teacher should be done with the same discrimination and effort you would use in a job search or selecting a university. If you find a teacher that appeals to you, make contact with him and begin a dialogue through email or phone.
Find out the costs. A good sign if a teacher is on the level or not is how much, if anything, they charge for the teaching. While most teachers should and do ask their students to pay their own way, taking a profit in spiritual work implies a motive other than the passing of knowledge. Ask him what following his teaching will entail in terms of time and money.
Inquire of the teacher's students, both past and present. Find out how they found the teacher and why they follow him. Don't be afraid to find out the dirt and details, many teachers conceal their true motivations behind a mask of disciples and ritual. On the other hand, respect the teacher and his commitment. Many donate their time and effort to teaching, and have a busy schedule balancing work and spiritual interests.
If possible, meet the teacher face to face. No true teacher should have anything to hide about his teaching, and should provide some opportunity for students to meet with him. Many hold conferences or retreats where the setting is conducive to meeting them and students can get to know the teachers methods and beliefs. Ask her what you can expect to gain from the teaching, what she has to offer, and how she came to to be a teacher.
Tips
Take advantage of a teacher's website. Sign up for their forums and message boards, and get to know the members.
Attend conferences and retreats with the teacher. Acquaint yourself with him and his students and get a feel for them.
Warnings
A reliance on too much secrecy and ritual could be a warning sign that the teacher and his group are not what they advertise. Be careful if they are vague about the teaching and its results, and charge exorbitant fees.
Teachers who have real knowledge to impart have no need to surround themselves with flattering students and disciples. If the group surrounding the teacher claim his secret teaching is only for the elite or inner circle, be careful.
Excessive praise from teachers promising an easy path are warning signs also. No metaphysical teaching worth following is that easy.
Bob Fergeson
- Quotes -
" The good is often the enemy of the best.".... nobody invented Alcoholics Anonymous. It just grew... by the grace of God." - Bill W.
" The best way to get out of something is to realize you were never in it." - Paul Hedderman
" You can act your way into the right thinking, but you can't think your way into the right action." - William James
" Whenever a civilization or society declines or perishes there is always one condition present - they forgot where they came from." - Carl Sandburg
" When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything in the universe." - John Muir
" No authentic messenger of truth ever tries to reform society, teaching only individual and inner change to those who want it." - Vernon Howard
Comic Philosophy
The boxes say"Existence" and "Non-Existence"
Twelve Steps of a Relapse
1. I decided I could handle any emotional problems if other people would just quit trying to run my life.
2. I firmly believe that there is no greater power than myself and anyone who says differently is insane.
3. I made a decision to remove my will and my life from God, who didn't understand me anyway.
4. I made a searching and thorough moral inventory of everyone I know, so they couldn't fool me and take advantage of my good nature.
5. I sought these people out and tried to get them to admit to me, by God, the exact nature of their wrongs.
6. I became willing to help these people get rid of their defects of character.
7. I was humble enough to ask these people to remove their shortcomings.
8. I kept a list of all the people who had harmed me, and waited patiently for a chance to get even.
9. I got even with these people whenever possible except when to do so would get me into trouble.
10. I continue to take everyone's inventory and when they are wrong, which is most of the time, I promptly make them admit it.
11. Sought through the concentration of my willpower to get God, who didn't understand me anyhow, to see that my desires were best, and He ought to give me the power to carry them out.
12. Having maintained my emotional problems with these steps, I can thoroughly recommend them to others who don't want to lose their hard-earned status, but wish to be left alone to practice neurosis in everything they do for the rest of their days.
10/23/09
Copyright 2009 - Robert Fergeson. All Rights Reserved.
So you think that you might be interested in or desperate for (or somewhere in-between) working a 12 step program? How do you get started? Click here - http://www.12step.org/home/newcomers-guide.html
